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New Ancient Wisdom

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383 items:

Frog Guy Vorhees

Help, help, I'm being leveled up!

Punch, Balance, it's all in the crossbow

Vice: Project Wheat

I know he scares the willies out of me!

Castlevania 2: Simon's Conch

Monster Elevated Hand-Slap

Maybe you should have used some of the repair charge for that

That weapon does get around.

He doesn't believe it

That's the general idea

Buzz Buzz Buzz, I'm a space robot.

Oddly Shaped TV!

The Chin Speaks

The Wicked Icarus of the West

Vice: Project Complementary Snacks!

...The Gray -- or, uh, The Fuschia!

There's just one thing you're forgetting, Biff...

This time we really DO mean amphibians!

Vice: Project Sherry

The Macho Wiseman!

A.P.B. for M.U.P.P.E.T.

Duckman fences for Fishman?

...he stole it and now he's back!

I'm Bad! At sleeping at the right times!

A Mighty Quest! Or something!

What did you says?

What's a dragon between friends?

Cult of Car-y Wisdom

Just an A-Button to the LEFT

It's a snappy color!

Get Equipped with YUM!

You've got a little something there

Why pay for the hints...

Vice: Project Hibachi

Vice: Project Contemplation

Vice: Project Healthy Mouth

His Degree isn't Shrimpy!

Sweep you off your week

Merchy Big-Hands

The Mysterious Board!

Well, I did wonder about that.

Millions of Unusual NPCs Leaping Everywhere!

Turn around, Snake Eyes

I am the Toastmaster of the Guard

River-Side Diner!

Robotic Bubbleheaded

Putting the PUN in Punching someone out.

Skull n' ...well, they're cross anyway.

The Machete in the Stone

They'll show anything!

Bad dudes; good use of semicolon!

Old home-owners are all alike!

My Kingdom for a Seat.

It's not even mightier than the sword.

It's a sword that eats like a meal!

Stylin' and Dr. Wilyn'

Chalice in the Palace!

Useful Controller Tips

Pirate Orthodontist!

Urban Khampionbat!

...the year the Smark in me moved on

I call it like I see it...

Dagobah System?

Bad Mega-Hair Day

Castlevania II: Simon's Nap

It's the funkiest Dance Macabre you've ever seen!

Ast me no questions!

It's a trapazoid!

As close as a blade!

Doo-doo Doot do Doot De dooot!

My froghead hurts.

More like EATER-man!

Muttonchoptimus Prime

What, Laser-Archie's busy?

Bad Soy Brawler

Code Name: Steve

He's GRRRRRREAT!

Exactly what it says on the Ninja-Tin

The Pink Alien and Duke

...and just like that, I've doubled the market!

Let's give him a big hand!

I'm bad...to the last drop!

Get the bugspray

I'm sorry, Duke, I can't do that.

Can't we patch things up?

...and what a contest it is!

Baguette Monster

Anyone for tennis?

Tombstone of the Unknown Topping

Rare plants for sale!

Well, okay then!

If you love your breakfast, set it free

Well, they didn't see THAT one coming!

This is why most characters do their brooding at night

If you give a genre enough trope, it'll hang itself

He's a wily one, is this boy!

Simian vs. Dairy!

Paging Dr. Fun!

A Warrior's Conundrum

It's the...Ear of the Tiger!

My favorite video game/super hero holiday!

This time WOLVERINE gets slash-ed

Magnetism vs. Neckware

Here on Simon's Isle!

Emilio Estevez and Barry Darsow would approve

Dude -- equip a towel!

The Rockman-n-Wrestling Connection 2

...but it's all he knows!

There's one at every barbecue!

The Rockman-n-Wrestling Connection 1

Nocturnal Priorities

Wait 'til Marion hears about this!

The secret of my success: teleporters

Won't you take me to...

What a tasty night for a curse!

Bad Streets...but Good Friends!

Ninjas: Silent Assassins!

Clown Shoe Ugly

Because MAGIC CRYSTALS!

If you look closely at his forearm...

Time flies when you're having fummy!

Let the Buyer Beware!

Rescuers on Strike...for Salad!

Wrath of the Denim Jacket II

Federal Bureau of ICARUS!

Don't stop Wrath of the Black Manta-ing!

The Apple of his Ninjitzu

Ninja Home Makeover

It's even faster than Jet form!

He can't take it all in with one eye

Any time a civil servant is abducted by ancient soldiers...

It's not work if it's doing what you love

Friendship is Punching People

Did he defeat WACKY Man?

Code Name: Tchotchke

Hair Club for Mega Men

Lord of the Dance

Sorry, Urban Champion...

Bring the nachos!

It's a product that's made to share!

Walk Like a Big Hairy Ape

So THAT'S where he lives!

Burn-y lies the head that wears the confetti

Isn't that always the way?

Did he defeat Deli-Man?

Dr. Wily borrowed him from Dr. Eldritch Horror

He shoots, he scores!

The Bonus Level Blues

A Jarring Bonus Level

Doo doot-doot-doot!

News at 11 (plus dinner)

Ninja Cold and Flu Season

It's a switcharoo!

That's what robot neighbors are for!

A Very Manta Xmas

Hatchet for a Nap Time!

He's a ninja who knows what time it is

So THAT'S what he's looking at

Be sure to vacuum

His hopes -- dashed!

Arrr, I be confused by yer window

They're infernally delicious!

Simon's Quest...for baked goods

Code Name: Channel Changer

Thanks, Mole People! Let's go get a burger.

Code Name: Problems with Delivery

Code Name: T.V. Room

A feather from a butterfly?

Wrath of the Black Leather Jacket

...and they're probably people-eaters, too!

The Skinny on the Skeleton

Just phoning it in

Take these 20E!

Ninja Decorating Tip #1

He's the head of the organization

Manta in the Willows

Diff'rent Mantas

Secret Off-Brand Man!

A Mid-Life Kidnapping!

He looks like that for a reason!

Why do you think they call it Ninja Arts?

A Beady Soliloquy

Wrath of the Denim Manta

Illogical Bread

Whatta Ninja Maroon...

Robo Takeout Request

Just call him "Paul Solo"

It's not easy being green

Garnish - Or - Die!

He's a little bit rock-n-roll

Advanced Alien Discotequenology!

Wurm...Or...Die Die Die Die!

Don't Slack on Packing Slacks!

Jason's just Jealous!

Rock, Paper, Jason

Bad Street Drawer

What a great co-pilot!

Fashionable but Chilly

Code Name: Minor Circuit

You will believe a man is fly!

Just don't rub his nose in it.

Simon's Quest...to DRAW!

Head of Jug, Neck of Laser!

It's a better place than one's pants.

He's not REALLY glad.

Who knew giant stone blocks were so flammable?

Code Name: Kitchen Safety

SOMEONE had a worse day than Simon!

The Deep Blue Sea-Devil

One day he hopes to be a REAL game!

Bad Street Architecture

With Old Men like these...

Today's the day the teddybears have their Xexyz

Uh, but should I show this note to the cliff?

Simon follows his nose

...but it's more portable!

My Angelkingdom for a General Practitioner!

Oh, that Simian Jokester!

Crunch Coat...of FIRE!

Pillows must cost a fortune

Can you endure this harsh taunt?

Put your pencils down!

Milon's Secret Snacks

Simon McBelmondo is no chicken!

What a long bad street trip it's been

Obi Stooge Kenobi

Bad Street Dancer!

Combat and Condiments

Friends, Romans, Bad Street Brawlers...

B.O. Street Brawler

His chin is FRACTIONALLY Better!

Bad Street Broomer?

High Kick Hijinx

Bad Street Depilator

Don't Trouble Trouble til Trouble takes you HERE

You can't spell "ACK" without "AC"

"Gentleman" George!

You don't need a machete to cut the mustard

Compulsory Football

The Nintendo Fun Club was never THIS fun!

Meet the new conductor, same as the old conductor...

SOMETHING's clearly jumped the shark here.

So he can get a handle on his thoughts...

In Soviet X-Man, Colossus shadows YOU!

Code Name: Stroke of Genius!

Hot Dog, it's a Commando Raid!

Code Name: Marshmallows + Graham Crackers

Worst Secret Ever

MORE Top Secret Information re: Ursines and Bee Food Supplies

Top Secret Information re: Ursines and Bee Food Supplies

The Dude Flying-Cross-Chops.

He's the (Adamantium) Star!

Quest of the Onion Soup

It was a dark and stormy mutant

Nighty-Night Crawler

Mr. Iceman Miser!

Cyclops and Olly SHOW!

Metal Gear Subtle

A Fishy Showdown

Code Name: FRUSTRATION

Code Name: POPPED COLLAR!

Code Name: CHORES!

Code Name: PARTY HARDY!

Mysterious Depilation!

Simon's Quest...for Halloween!

The Man with the Atomic Brain!

Faux American BADA$$

Pinned by the WAAAA-mbulance?

Marky Leavy Mark!

Good Night, Sleep Tight...

It's an Elfish Steal!

I draw the line at killer plants

Sweatin' to the Mouldies!

...and his beard is nice, too!

Willis the Hermit

...his hair was PERFECT!

That Laura is a golden girl!

Curse that Zelda!

ToadsHousilvania II!

Warp Whistle PPK!

That's where you get the Wooden Katana!

Isn't it funny how a bear likes...uh, what?

Sanitized "Friday the 13th" Game Over screen

The Healing Power of Laughter...caused by funny hats.

Hermit-ically Cured Ham!

A Marquis of Queensbury-Rules Machete Fight!

Pluggin' the Next Generation Sequel Already!

They're hard to count!

Simon is in for a disappointing bath!

The Werewolf said "Huzzah!"

A Select Clientele

Sherry in the Sky with Greasepaint

An Underequipped Ally!

A Healthy Theological Discussion

Stand Up Straight!

Good Night, Simon!

Fire will damage Jason the most!

The King's Important Question

The Ninja Grill

I hate it when that happens!

Oh, they're sweatin' alright!

Those locksmiths must be rich

A Dangerous Purchase

Ninjas like Hummus!

I can't see without my...

Everybody Cut Foot LOST!

...And Stay Off My Lawn, Dagnabbit!

He's a frog who knows what he wants!

It's the Right Thing To Do

Woah, Tough Crowd!

How to Impress Girls

The Water is Getting Cold.

Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite

Milon's Sartorial Castle

That Salty Old Dog!

You can never be too prepared for bad acts

Armaments are Wasted on the Young!

Zombie dancing can't be safe dancing!

Welcome to Castlevania Religious Building Chat!

Wacky Hijinks in Argool!

Wizardwear: Built for Comfort (if not defense)

Not a very useful hint

How do you defend against THAT?

I shouldn't have stolen those Sam-sa-ra baskets!

It's Not Easy Being King Green

Is that a Crown or a Cone?

A Compass Heart based on MUTUAL RESPECT.

And the Other Guard Always Tells the Truth...

4 Player Characters walk in to a Bar

Beard Full of Kryptonite

Soothern Hospitality

The Secret of Dietary Invulnerability

Tip o' the Nose to Ya!

Oh, is THAT him?

Care for a Night Cap?

Ouch, My Head...

The Graveyard Duck?

A Cold Reception from a Chilly Hermit

I always wondered about that.

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6/26/23: Get Legendary, get lucky...and go to the DANGER ZONE! by CarlMarksGuy

6/23/23: Get Legendary, get lucky...and go to the DANGER ZONE! by Marla Singer

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