Up from (Super) Obscurity
permalinkI've already talked about how the SNES's Home Alone 2 is not a good game, even by movie game standards.
(though in reality, all movie games aren't created equally crappy: for example Home Alone 1 is relatively playable).
But there's just so many weird/creepy/disturbing things that happen in the first level or two that I had to expose its dark and fetid soul further.
So this, then, is...
The Top 10 Most Disturbing Things about Home Alone 2 for the Super Nintendo:
10. The Concierge:
Badly-digitized and "blinky"-looking cut-scene face, plus his creepy boy-throttling "lose a life" animation!
9. Digitized Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern:
Because nothing says "kid's movie" like doofy comedic foils convicted felons with cold-blooded murder in their eyes.
8. Death by Cleaning Implements
Ok, so the mop just takes off a hitpoint (though watch out for the wet floor -- it's a slipping hazard on par with the best ice levels!), but this game posits that bumping into a vacuum cleaner sucks you in to your doom!
7. Bug-Eyed Gift Store Lady
Ok, the toys are cute -- but what the hell are we supposed to make of that cashier!? (My guess is that she's Mozart in a domino mask).
6. Our young hero in bed with a French Maid
...well, STANDING in bed. In a hotel room, alone. While she throws pillows at him. It's just weird, is all.
5. Whatever the hell is happening here
Another instant-kill enemy, another awkward grab.
4. Line cooks of doom.
Wander through the kitchen at your own risk -- even if you get by the dreaded dishwasher and falling pots-and-pans, there's several workstations of line cooks with an infinite supply of fish(?) cross-sections to fire at you!
3. Hotel Boss: THE STRIPPING CHEF
The kitchen ends with a showdown with the beefy chef. He leaps about throwing meat-cleavers at you, and you have to knee-slide into him.
Each knee-slide results in him removing more and more of his shirt,
...until finally his pants fly off and he flips upside-down.
(Then, for an encore, he explodes into a shower of cookies)
2. Your first cut-scene encounter with Harry and Marv.
It begins (as we've come to expect) with an awkward menacing hug. While this is going on, a mysterious beatnik lady hovers nearby (carrying what appears to be a psychadelic box with a Mega Man energy meter coming out of the top).
And how does our hero orchestrate his escape?
By snapping the bra-strap(?) of the mysterious lady!
She blames this on Daniel Stern, whom she calls a "nerd" and punches directly in the face.
This allows our hero to beat a hasty retreat!
Though judging by how his picture slides downwards out of frame, I guess we're to assume he's somehow sinking into the earth's crust.
...and the #1 most disturbing thing about Home Alone 2:
...hidden after about 2 screen's-worth of credits, we find THIS:
1. Executive Producer: Howard Phillips!?
Of Nintendo Power magazine and "Howard and NESter" comic fame!?
My thoughts exactly. For shame, sir! For shame!
Please turn in your bow-tie at the door -- and don't think of coming back:
— carlmarksguy, 2014-01-31
2 Comments:
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1
Is that a THQ game? I think I remember reading in NP that Howard went to work for THQ after leaving. Also, that's the crew from A Boy and His Blob (minus David Crane) and Bart vs. the Space Mutants. Fun Fact: Alex DeMeo's son emailed me one time about hidden initials in the Simpsons game.
2
Oh, it's most certainly a THQ game :) (if I had to guess I'd bet 80% of the SNES movie games were Ocean or THQ). It's sad that Howard went to THQ, almost all their stuff is bottom of the barrel (though oddly the same company made Home Alone 1, which I rather like; I should look @ its credits n see if it had different programmers). Neat that someone attached to one of the names said hi :)