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Up from (Super) Obscurity

As I've probably mentioned, I like the Rushing Beat series of beat-em-ups by Jaleco. Despite their goofy Americanization, they're a good campy joy to play. Today we're going to re-visit Brawl Brothers, known in Japan by the catchy title, Rushing Beat Ran.
It's only fitting that this, the article just before GameWTFs's 6-month anniversary, should be about the same game that I wrote my first article on; but this time I won't be talking about how the ninja is the best character. However rest assured that this article will be EQUALLY slapdash and half-hearted, and focused on...
Your character choices!
In Brawl Brothers, you can pick two of the five aforementioned Brothers* to make up your initial wrecking crew for "brawling". In a two-player game, one player chooses each character. But let's face it, people still interested in playing 16-bit beat-em-ups are pretty thin on the ground, so you're unlikely to live within 100 miles of a Player just know that you can switch between your first choice guy and your second choice dude between levels and/or when you lose all your lives and have to continue (which you may do IN MID-LEVEL!)
*: of the character choices would be more accurately described as a "Brawl Sister", but we'll leave that aside for them moment
...and the unpicked three brothers are also the THREE BOSSES!
Brawl Brothers has a pretty good interesting an excuse for why they didn't program "new" enemies to be the level bosses of levels 1 through 3: the bad guys are evidently "cloning" people and creating evil duplicates of them. You have to rescue your three un-selected brothers-in-arms by defeating a palette swap of them, PLUS they get to wear some ridiculous historic warrior head-gear!
Wendy's Evil Clone: The Green-and-Red Knight!
Kazan's Evil Clone: The Yellow-and-Blue Demon-Masked Samurai!
Lord J's Evil Clone: Viking Costume with Electric Blue Highlights!
You'll note that I've only covered 3 of the 5 possible evil clones; I played the game with "Hack" and "Slash" (a.k.a. "Jack Flak" and "Oozie Nelson" from Rival Turf) as my beginning tag-team for these screenshots. You know what that means? FUTURE HALF-HEARTED UPDATE WHEN I PLAY THROUGH TO SEE WHAT THEIR EVIL CLONES ARE WEARING!

Anyway, with all that weirdness and devious doppelgangers going on, you'd expect that your rescued compatriots would have a lot to say, to help explain the game's intricate mysteries!
Fortunately, when you rescue them, they each tell you vital clues and information that slowly releases the horrific aspects of the evil organization's plans...
Well, actually, before I get to that, there's something else I'd like to mention: the Rushing Beat series has some of the awesome-est cheat/easter-egg codes known to man: in the first one, called Rival Turf in the US, you can re-name all the enemies!
And in Brawl Brothers, you can actually unlock the Japanese version, Rushing Beat Ran, just by pressing the "B-A-X-Y" keys, in that order, over and over again while the "Jaleco" logo screen is up. And if it worked correctly you'll see a goofy gray glitched screen, after which you're in Rushing Beat Ran-land, without a brawl sibling to be found!
This is important because now we can see both the Japanese cut-scenes between levels, AND their American translation! We can judge how the nuances of the plot were localized for non-Land-of-the-Rising-Sun audiences, and judge which presents a more satisfying and fulfilling explanation for the nefarious cloning experiments!
As I mentioned above, I only had time to do SOME of the permutations of dialog...and I only got through two of the three bosses on the Japanese version of the game (I'm going on vacation tomorrow, after all. Also I'm lazy).
But, within those limitations, may I present to you:
How to Translate from Japanese to English, Jaleco's-Americanization-Team Style!
Wendy's Rescue Speech, Japanese Version:

Translation, by Jonny2x4: "Thanks! I knew you would save me. But be careful. These aren't any ordinary thugs. They seem to be clones who have been strengthened... We must rescue the others."
Wendy's Rescue Speech, American Version:

Hmmm; interesting! The Japanese version seems to be a little more verbose. But surely rescuing Kazan the Ninja will result in some more ninja-tastic dialog, even in English?
Kazan's Rescue Speech, Japanese Version:

Translation, by Jonny2x4: "I'm in debt to you. It seems the clones that are being made here are being sold to the military for use in guerrilla warfare. We must put a stop to their plans no matter what"
Kazan's Rescue Speech, American Version:

Huh...hmmm. Somehow his English version seems rather familiar. Maybe I heard it in a movie somewhere?
Never mind, I'm sure it'll come back to me where I saw that before. And as a special "teaser" for the second half of this article (in true Matrix: Reloaded/Matrix: Revolutions, Kill Bill pt 1/Kill Bill pt 2 half-finished rip-off style!), let me end this article with Lord J's speech, American Edition!
Lord J's Rescue Speech, American Version:

The American version of the plot has me on tinderhooks! (Or is that tenderhooks?) Well, anyway, tune in next time whenever I write "part 2" of this article, to see the Japanese version of Lord J's victory speech! As if it could be more compelling than the English version!
Until then, thanks,pal. Let's go kick some butt.
— carlmarksguy, 2012-07-06
The Japanese dialogue isn't much better. Still, it makes me wonder how cheap Jaleco's localization budget must've been when they couldn't afford a proper translator for such a barebones plot. Wendy: "Thanks! I knew you would save me. But be careful. These aren't any ordinary thugs. They seem to be clones who have been strengthened... We must rescue the others." Kazan: "I'm in debt to you. It seems the clones that are being made here are being sold to the military for use in guerrilla warfare. We must put a stop to their plans no matter wh
Hey, thanks very much for translating, Jonny! I'll incorporate your translations in this article in the near future.
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