Super Nintendo, NES & GameBoy tomfoolery;

(back to article list)

NES Obscurity Quicky!

Welcome back to week two of October 2015's Ignominius Mummy Month! Last week we saw the Pirate-and-Wizard-'em-up, Skull and Crossbones, which featured mummies as their first-screen fall-guy.
This week, it's up, up and a WTF with...
Mighty Bomb Jack
You know, I've never really understood this game.
There's several reasons behind my confusion:
  1. The Game's Name. — Are you a "Bomb Jack", and are we to assume that's something like a lumberjack or steeplejack? Is your name "Jack", and you have an affinity for bombs? Why are you called "Mighty" when you die in one hit?
  2. The fact you never USE bombs — Like Quattro Adventure's Boomerang Kid, you spend the whole game basically unarmed, even while COLLECTING hundreds of your namesake weapons.

  3. The weird "collect Mighty Coins and use them to power up to for various states/costume changes" — it's your only portable offensive maneuver, so you better learn what each coin-use does to you!

  4. The weird "inverse platformer" jumping — you leap extremely high any time you press the A button. You then have to quickly tap the A button again to STOP rising. Alternately, you can use the UNDERSIDE of platforms to stop your ascent. This is made worse by the fact that...

  5. You know how you open all those treasure chests? — you have to jump on top of them, THEN jump again WHILE standing on top of them.
    Each of these jumps will send you rocketting upwards at least 1/3rd of the screen; you're likely to spend more time drifting downwards from jumps here than you did in Legend of Kage...but at least in that game, jumping is usually optional, rather than the key mechanic for collecting power-ups.
  6. The mysterious "GDV" — On the "Game Over" screen, you're shown your final GDV. This was Temco's way of revolutionizing games by replacing the trite concept of a "Score" with a mind-meltingly obscure "GDV".
    Those who have the manual will know this stands for "Game Deviation Value", and is supposed to measure how well you played. Of course, it would have been handy if they indicated if Higher or Lower GDVs were better.
    moreover, the only other game I've seen with a GDV is the byzantine puzzler, Solomon's Key. Given that this game has you fight your way through puzzle-room after puzzle-room, trying to overcome both monsters and a timer, it's much easier to imagine how it can say one play-through was Better than another.
    But in Mighty Bomb Jack, I estimate that you spend 10% of your time collecting bombs, 11% of the game racing to the exit, 7.9% of your time dodging enemies (more on this soon!), and a whopping 71.1% of your time floating down after your goofy flighty could they calculate how well or poorly you did?
  7. And finally, the biggest factor in me never investing time in this game is the odd rumor (which I can't be bothered to check on) that the "bonus bomb-gathering levels" at the end of each "platformer" level are like the original Mighty Bomb Jack arcade game. That's all well and good, but rumor has it, if you do well enough in these bonus screens, you can skip more and more of the actual game itself.
    I...I'm not even sure where to start with this. Imagine if Super Mario Bros 3's player-vs-player version of Mario Bros could be used to skip entire levels.
That's some weighty baggage of nonsense; and I'm not about to figure out Mighty Bomb Jack now, given that my only goal is just to gawk at the way in which it under-employs death-challenged Egyptian cadavers. But perhaps the mummies in this game are the weirdest thing of all, because...
The Mummies appear to be the LARVAL FORM of all enemies!
As you explore the Mighty Bomb Pyramids, mummies pop out, wander towards you for a few seconds, then transform into one of any number of different, bizarre beings, like dyspeptic Hagamemnons:
Bronze Age Mutant Mummy-Parrots!
...and it's not just inoffensive brightly colored tropical birds, this game's mummies end up mutating in to all kinds of different things,
airborne lobsters and headless hovering turtles,
sometimes even conventional things like Fireballs or Skulls,
but usually more zany things -- like these flying bunny critters.
Poor Mr. Mummy!
Even though this game has many confusion elements, I think the mummies have a strong case for the "most aggrieved person" award. The designers of this game decided that the Mummy himself is not good enough to menace Mr. B. Jack, and have instead given the job to THESE beasts:
Who's a pretty DEADLY boy, then?
If that's not a recipe for ignominy, I don't know what is!
— carlmarksguy, 2015-10-12
(back to article list)

more me!

latest comments

6/26/23: Get Legendary, get lucky...and go to the DANGER ZONE! by CarlMarksGuy
6/23/23: Get Legendary, get lucky...and go to the DANGER ZONE! by Marla Singer
12/2/22: By the Programming of Grey Skull! by CarlMarksGuy
12/2/22: Faux American BADA$$ by CarlMarksGuy


Super Nintendo


Up from (Super) Obscurity (87)
NES Obscurity Quicky! (49)
Smorgasbored! (30)
Cover Art Theatre (24)
Boy in Gray (24)
killer Vaniller filler (14)
Four Reflections for Filler (7)

Short + Sweet
New Ancient Wisdom (383)
Shenanigans &/or Shinola (33)
Picture-in-Picture (22)
Miscquoted (21)
Pointless Point Pointers (11)
Made Up Facts! (6)


Bats/Cats/Rats/Gnats (33)
Beat-em-ups (44)
Bees Will End You (11)
Button Zone Defense (7)
CarlMarksGiger (5)
Censors on Maximum! (6)
Character DeCreation (7)
CHOPPAH (get to da) (8)
Cover Art...yeah. (9)
CRAZYGRAMPS-Approved (10)
Cross Hairs (14)
CTRL-ALT-Sports (39)
Cut the Cut Scenes! (50)
Delicious Power-Ups! (19)
Digitized Photos=Bad (34)
Dojo Mojo (15)
e-Pistolary Whipped (2)
Faces in the Crowd (8)
Fighty-Fight-Fight (39)
Foreground Peekaboo (3)
Form of: Plat! (86)
Fun with Cybernetics (28)
Glitched Pictures (12)
Go for the Gold! (19)
GOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (4)
Grappling Hook-y (5)
Gritty Urbs & Spices (37)
Haberdasher Galaxy (19)
Haiku You! (11)
Hellish Moppet (24)
Hi, Explosives! (16)
High Fashion (43)
I Give Up! (59)
I have bad taste (18)
Ice is Nice (14)
Informative Info! (46)
It's a Holiday! (12)
Jumpy-Stabby (43)
Keep on Truckin' (12)
Kids today! :P (15)
Laser-Powered Fist (10)
LevHELL Select (14)
Melting Flooring (6)
Mini(scule) Games (12)
Mission: Implausible (26)
Moto-cross/-cycle (14)
Movie Cash-In! (59)
Muscles n' Mullets (20)
no pants (19)
Not the BOSS of me! (21)
Oh, Aliens did it. (25)
Paid Celeb Spokesman (31)
Pigging Out (8)
Pirates &/or Ninjas (47)
Player 2 I <3 You (17)
Port-a-Porty (29)
Prehistoria Euphoria (18)
Puzzling, yes? (27)
Racing a La Mode 7 (11)
Random Spotlight! (15)
Rasslin'!!! (7)
Recursive Recursion (7)
Rushing Beat-ings (8)
Scan Th Funny Manual (3)
Scoot or Die (7)
Shabby Olive Drabby (20)
Shoot-em-U/D/L/R (62)
Shpiiidah! (10)
Snap th Game's a Job (13)
Spiky Apocalypse! (22)
Stupor Heroes! (16)
Sum-Sum-Summertime! (9)
Swords, Elves, Etc (32)
THAT'S how you win? (3)
The Grating Outdoors (24)
The InterNOT (2)
The Name Game! (18)
The Time Warp Excuse (18)
Toon In! (31)
Top 10 or so! (23)
U Stink But I <3 U (9)
Un-licensed to kill (22)
Uneven Challenge (18)
Unwieldly Projectile (33)
Warp Door Mazes (5)
Weird Animals (67)
What a scoop! (10)
What's the Password? (20)
Wheels + Feet = Go (7)
Whirled Tour! (13)
Woebegotten Sequels (21)
X marks the XTREME! (9)


elsewhere on the web...
Flying Omelette
Rage Quitter 87
Random Hoo Haas