Smorgasbored!
permalinkHello, and Welcome to GameWTFs's Cinco De Mayo article! As I understand it (and barring any actual research) Cinco De Mayo is a Mexican holiday, whose name is Spanish for "The Fifth of Mayonnaise."
So to get into the (belated) festive mood, we're going to take a look at another fine Mexican tradition: the Sombrero. And more specifically, the Sombrero in NES games.
Get ready for amazing hats (and likely some insulting stereotypes captured forever in pixelated form) in, Sombrero NES Mayo!
Wild Gunman
We begin with the early zapper game, Wild Gunman, and its sombrero-clad gunfighter:
You may think he's not a terribly flattering portrayal of a sombrero-wearer, what with his oversized serape and gigantic scowl, but none of the bad guys come off looking very good in this desert dust-up. Why, just take a gander at him alongside some of his fellow gunslingers:
Not a looker among 'em!
And on the up-side, after Sombrero-Man has been out-drawn in your duel, the fringe of his serape contains a festive smiley-face, to show it's all been in good fun:
The Young Indiana Jones Chronicals
We proceed from gun-fights of the ooooold west to Old Indiana Jones flashing back to the Spanish Civil War:
Long, rambling stories that involve whipping crates and scoring points, but also...
(So far, the sombrero-wearers aren't looking too good here)
Plus, they also end up being the grenade-throwin' footsoldiers that Young Indy goes up against.
Fortunately, if there's anything that the Nintendo has taught us, it's that a Whip can defeat anything (bats, ancient vampires, Billy Lee, etc), and soon we're off to visit the space/time world(s) of...
Yes, copywrite-free "Time Lord"-s. If you're thinking its related to, say, a famous British television program, you're wrong!
...after having spent 2 levels getting in fist-fights with atomic spacemen and dwarven archers,
he gets ready for Death Gulch Dead Man's Gulch.
It is ruled by level 3's boss, and his mighty sombrero:
It's also possible he's really the caterpillar from "Alice in Wonderland," but he's the toughest NES Sombrero-wearer I've come across!
Actually, he pretty much breaks the game with his nigh-invulnerability.
the giant bullets emanating from his tummy are the last sight your (generic) time lord will see.
Well, that, plus his hat.
Happy Cinco NES Sombreros, everyone!
— carlmarksguy, 2015-05-08
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