Those creepy Arch Rivals glitched screenprints
from last time were so much fun, that I decided this week I was going to search around my hard drive for OTHER video game pictures, where the picture-capturing didn't get it quite right!
And it's all
because I couldn't think of anything else to write about before the last minute for fun!
So, without further ado...
On to the Screen Pictures!
Gauntlet II - NES
Laser-Blasted Title Screen
As my buddy at VGJunk points out in his article
, the title screen for Gauntlet II
has a lot going on. But a sure-fire way to increase the insanity is to throw in some glitch-y-ness!
In this case the graphics glitching is pretty mundane -- just some displacement of horizontal lines. The most exciting feature is that the wizard's Magical Bathrobes and the warrior's boot appear to be creating a finish-line across the lower half of the screen.
But if you think about it, you COULD say that you can see through where Warrior and Valkyrie's underwear should be! Hotcha!
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! - NES
Bald Bull is blinded by numbers!
He may be the Major Circuit Champion, but his head appears to have shattered with the stress of maintaining the title. The numbers "0" and "1" attempt to contain his fragmented sanity, but the odd blue-white-fleshtone "9" in the corner knows that this is a hopeless fight!
Better to give in to the chaos with a smile, like the odd "Little Mac Grin" growing out of Mr. Bull's shoulder!
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! - NES
Heavy lies the head that carries the weird boxing champion trophy
Little Mac has won the title...BUT AT WHAT COST? Clearly he's falling in to the same psychosis that haunted Bald Bull.
Evidently Little Mac now dreams of orange picket fences, and the inky blackness of a void only interrupted by blue squiggles and the occasional...staring...EYE!
Monsters in my Pocket - NES
TV rots your brain.
Here, Mini-Dracula and Mini-Frankenstein's-Mini-Monster sit in front of a television. Or a microwave, it's hard to tell.
Evidently they're watching a program about a conga-line of tiny people who are trying not to slip on giant banana peels. Also a highway runs through the bottom of the program, and outside of the television, on their wall as well.
Below where Drac-n-Frank Mini are sitting is a vast wasteland of gray and darker-gray "snow", bounded on one side by a cryptic row of "E"s and bananas, and on the other shore? The letter "P" and what could be a box on a forklift, or a quick portrait of a surprised long-necked creature!
Tuff-E-Nuff - SNES
In the year 2151...
Jade's adorable mohawked gang of doom beats people up, but is always sure to paint a big letter "J" on their left shoulder pad (and their left shoulder pad ONLY!)
Unfortunately the fighter known as "Beans" (Jade's right-hand Man/Football Player/Post-Apocalyptic Warrior/David Bowie Impersonator) can't wait to get in to the video game's opening crawl, so his frame appears over where most of the text is supposed to appear.
Well, I guess you can't blame Beans; with a hairdo and mustache like that, you've gotta be the center of attention at all times!
Arch Rivals - NES
They Poked Out Hitler's Eyes!
Ok, this one's just as terrifying as its peers from last week, and the most blatant violence-against-goofy-mustached-fascists since the end of Bionic Commando!
I don't know what's more disturbing: the announcer's rectangular "hitler" mustache, the fact that his eyes have been poked out, or how HAPPY he is about the whole thing.
If I saw this at halftime at any sporting event, you can bet I'd miss the second part of the game!
Well, that's pretty much all I've got this week...and I've successfully completed my mission of posting something that seems SORT of like a video game article every Friday for yet another week!
I'll leave you with a picture of all the male characters in Drakkhen posing in their
*: While their in-game pictures at the middle of the screen never change, their portraits at the bottom of the screen are different depending on the armor they're currently wearing...or, in this case, NOT wearing!
Woo-hoo, over 700 words -- see you again next week, kids, for more insightful game journalism!
— carlmarksguy, 2012-05-04