Well, I've had a lot of
fun over the past few weeks, showing off various Gameboy innanity, but now it's time to return to my bread-and-butter: crummy SNES movie
Like it's namesake, its depths are full of noisome things better forgotten.
Oh, wait; it wasn't finished zooming in. Let's try again:
Yes, the movie franchise that features Mel Gibson's character actively contemplating suicide, being tortured with electricity by the vaguely Mongol Hordes-looking guy*, and ends with Mr. Gibson's character beating up one of those tall-headed, horse-toothed character actors (Gary Busey? Ed Begley Jr.? The Beagely Boys from Duck Tails?).
With that source material, I'm surprised they didn't call the SNES game Lethal Weap-FUN!
Indeed, what better franchise to entertain the kiddies as a goofy SNES port, from the same people who brought you Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt
and Dennis the Menace
! I can't think of a worse idea. Oh, wait.
In any event, now it's time to...
Otherwise, what will your chief yell at you for screwing up? Duh.
You get to wander around the squad room,
choosing what's behind Doors number 1, 2, 3, etc.
but if you wander off to the "LOCKERS",
You get to tag out to your mismatched buddy-cop partner!
Also you can take a few minutes to play on the squad room's antique elevator!
(But, in contradiction to everything video games have taught us, there's no way to injure yourself with a badly-timed jump to or from this rickety contraption)
Anyway. I choo-choo-chose Mission 2, only to find that...
SOMEONE SET THE SEWERS UP THE BOMB!
Oh no -- think of the property damage! Also, anyone who has watched an action movie or played a videogame will know that "prevent them from carrying out this act" doesn't involve session after session of discussion and counseling.
Additionally, it seems like the vile terrorists compounded their villainy by delivering their blackmail call whilst Riggs was drinking a tall, frosty glass of milk -- causing him to shoot his beverage out of his nose in righteous indignation. Either that or my cut-scene screen-captures are a little glitchy.
Nah, I think it's supposed to look like that.
Anyway -- on to Mission 2!
Oh yeah, now we're getting in to what I'd expect from a Lethal Weapon video game --
Seriously, you could deep-fry a turkey
with that muzzle flash.
Kickin' karate moves!
Uh, climbing on chains above green sewer water...
And, uh...puckering up for giant sewer alligators?
Ok -- that's it, I'm done.
You and me both, good sir.
— carlmarksguy, 2015-04-03