I think it's French for "The Thal Weapon"

Well, I've had a lot of ~~filler~~ fun over the past few weeks, showing off various Gameboy innanity, but now it's time to return to my bread-and-butter: crummy SNES movie games!

Like it's namesake, its depths are full of noisome things better forgotten.

This week:

Ethan Eapoi!

Oh, wait; it wasn't finished zooming in. Let's try again:

That's more like it!

(Not to be confused with Lethal Enforcers)

Yes, the movie franchise that features Mel Gibson's character actively contemplating suicide, being tortured with electricity by the vaguely Mongol Hordes-looking guy*, and ends with Mr. Gibson's character beating up one of those tall-headed, horse-toothed character actors (Gary Busey? Ed Begley Jr.? The Beagely Boys from Duck Tails?).

*: played by the terrorist in Die Hard who smashes Nakatomi Plaza's candy counter. Perhaps he knows how much candy bars cost in the future?

With that source material, I'm surprised they didn't call the SNES game Lethal Weap-FUN! Indeed, what better franchise to entertain the kiddies as a goofy SNES port, from the same people who brought you Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt and Dennis the Menace! I can't think of a worse idea. Oh, wait.

In any event, now it's time to...

Otherwise, what will your chief yell at you for screwing up? Duh.

Oh, & butt out, Joe Pesci! For some reason you're goofy in SNES games about R-rated movies, and horrifying in SNES games about children's movies

You get to wander around the squad room,

choosing what's behind Doors number 1, 2, 3, etc.

but if you wander off to the "LOCKERS",

You get to tag out to your mismatched buddy-cop partner!

Also you can take a few minutes to play on the squad room's antique elevator!

(But, in contradiction to everything video games have taught us, there's no way to injure yourself with a badly-timed jump to or from this rickety contraption)

Elevator Action guy: 'You guys have it easy!'

Anyway. I choo-choo-chose Mission 2, only to find that...

Emergency! We have received a threat that unless the city pays $10 million by midnight, a series of bombs planted in the city's sewers will detonate causing billions of dollars of damage! Find the perpetrators and prevent them from carrying out this act!

SOMEONE SET THE SEWERS UP THE BOMB!

Oh no -- think of the property damage! Also, anyone who has watched an action movie or played a videogame will know that "prevent them from carrying out this act" doesn't involve session after session of discussion and counseling.

Additionally, it seems like the vile terrorists compounded their villainy by delivering their blackmail call whilst Riggs was drinking a tall, frosty glass of milk -- causing him to shoot his beverage out of his nose in righteous indignation. Either that or my cut-scene screen-captures are a little glitchy.