Super Nintendo, NES & GameBoy tomfoolery;

(back to article list)

Up from (Super) Obscurity

Well, I've had a lot of filler fun over the past few weeks, showing off various Gameboy innanity, but now it's time to return to my bread-and-butter: crummy SNES movie games!
Like it's namesake, its depths are full of noisome things better forgotten.
This week:
Ethan Eapoi!
Oh, wait; it wasn't finished zooming in. Let's try again:
That's more like it!
(Not to be confused with Lethal Enforcers)
Yes, the movie franchise that features Mel Gibson's character actively contemplating suicide, being tortured with electricity by the vaguely Mongol Hordes-looking guy*, and ends with Mr. Gibson's character beating up one of those tall-headed, horse-toothed character actors (Gary Busey? Ed Begley Jr.? The Beagely Boys from Duck Tails?).
*: played by the terrorist in Die Hard who smashes Nakatomi Plaza's candy counter. Perhaps he knows how much candy bars cost in the future?
With that source material, I'm surprised they didn't call the SNES game Lethal Weap-FUN! Indeed, what better franchise to entertain the kiddies as a goofy SNES port, from the same people who brought you Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt and Dennis the Menace! I can't think of a worse idea. Oh, wait.
In any event, now it's time to...
Otherwise, what will your chief yell at you for screwing up? Duh.
Oh, & butt out, Joe Pesci! For some reason you're goofy in SNES games about R-rated movies, and horrifying in SNES games about children's movies
You get to wander around the squad room,
choosing what's behind Doors number 1, 2, 3, etc.
but if you wander off to the "LOCKERS",
You get to tag out to your mismatched buddy-cop partner!
Also you can take a few minutes to play on the squad room's antique elevator!
(But, in contradiction to everything video games have taught us, there's no way to injure yourself with a badly-timed jump to or from this rickety contraption)
Anyway. I choo-choo-chose Mission 2, only to find that...
Oh no -- think of the property damage! Also, anyone who has watched an action movie or played a videogame will know that "prevent them from carrying out this act" doesn't involve session after session of discussion and counseling.
Additionally, it seems like the vile terrorists compounded their villainy by delivering their blackmail call whilst Riggs was drinking a tall, frosty glass of milk -- causing him to shoot his beverage out of his nose in righteous indignation. Either that or my cut-scene screen-captures are a little glitchy.
Nah, I think it's supposed to look like that.
Anyway -- on to Mission 2!
Oh yeah, now we're getting in to what I'd expect from a Lethal Weapon video game --
Over-the-top gunfire!
Seriously, you could deep-fry a turkey with that muzzle flash.
Kickin' karate moves!
Uh, climbing on chains above green sewer water...
And, uh...puckering up for giant sewer alligators?
Ok -- that's it, I'm done.
You and me both, good sir.
— carlmarksguy, 2015-04-03
(back to article list)

more me!

latest comments

6/26/23: Get Legendary, get lucky...and go to the DANGER ZONE! by CarlMarksGuy
6/23/23: Get Legendary, get lucky...and go to the DANGER ZONE! by Marla Singer
12/2/22: By the Programming of Grey Skull! by CarlMarksGuy
12/2/22: Faux American BADA$$ by CarlMarksGuy


Super Nintendo


Up from (Super) Obscurity (87)
NES Obscurity Quicky! (49)
Smorgasbored! (30)
Cover Art Theatre (24)
Boy in Gray (24)
killer Vaniller filler (14)
Four Reflections for Filler (7)

Short + Sweet
New Ancient Wisdom (383)
Shenanigans &/or Shinola (33)
Picture-in-Picture (22)
Miscquoted (21)
Pointless Point Pointers (11)
Made Up Facts! (6)


Bats/Cats/Rats/Gnats (33)
Beat-em-ups (44)
Bees Will End You (11)
Button Zone Defense (7)
CarlMarksGiger (5)
Censors on Maximum! (6)
Character DeCreation (7)
CHOPPAH (get to da) (8)
Cover Art...yeah. (9)
CRAZYGRAMPS-Approved (10)
Cross Hairs (14)
CTRL-ALT-Sports (39)
Cut the Cut Scenes! (50)
Delicious Power-Ups! (19)
Digitized Photos=Bad (34)
Dojo Mojo (15)
e-Pistolary Whipped (2)
Faces in the Crowd (8)
Fighty-Fight-Fight (39)
Foreground Peekaboo (3)
Form of: Plat! (86)
Fun with Cybernetics (28)
Glitched Pictures (12)
Go for the Gold! (19)
GOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (4)
Grappling Hook-y (5)
Gritty Urbs & Spices (37)
Haberdasher Galaxy (19)
Haiku You! (11)
Hellish Moppet (24)
Hi, Explosives! (16)
High Fashion (43)
I Give Up! (59)
I have bad taste (18)
Ice is Nice (14)
Informative Info! (46)
It's a Holiday! (12)
Jumpy-Stabby (43)
Keep on Truckin' (12)
Kids today! :P (15)
Laser-Powered Fist (10)
LevHELL Select (14)
Melting Flooring (6)
Mini(scule) Games (12)
Mission: Implausible (26)
Moto-cross/-cycle (14)
Movie Cash-In! (59)
Muscles n' Mullets (20)
no pants (19)
Not the BOSS of me! (21)
Oh, Aliens did it. (25)
Paid Celeb Spokesman (31)
Pigging Out (8)
Pirates &/or Ninjas (47)
Player 2 I <3 You (17)
Port-a-Porty (29)
Prehistoria Euphoria (18)
Puzzling, yes? (27)
Racing a La Mode 7 (11)
Random Spotlight! (15)
Rasslin'!!! (7)
Recursive Recursion (7)
Rushing Beat-ings (8)
Scan Th Funny Manual (3)
Scoot or Die (7)
Shabby Olive Drabby (20)
Shoot-em-U/D/L/R (62)
Shpiiidah! (10)
Snap th Game's a Job (13)
Spiky Apocalypse! (22)
Stupor Heroes! (16)
Sum-Sum-Summertime! (9)
Swords, Elves, Etc (32)
THAT'S how you win? (3)
The Grating Outdoors (24)
The InterNOT (2)
The Name Game! (18)
The Time Warp Excuse (18)
Toon In! (31)
Top 10 or so! (23)
U Stink But I <3 U (9)
Un-licensed to kill (22)
Uneven Challenge (18)
Unwieldly Projectile (33)
Warp Door Mazes (5)
Weird Animals (67)
What a scoop! (10)
What's the Password? (20)
Wheels + Feet = Go (7)
Whirled Tour! (13)
Woebegotten Sequels (21)
X marks the XTREME! (9)


elsewhere on the web...
Flying Omelette
Rage Quitter 87
Random Hoo Haas