Hey, a non-clip-show Gameboy article? What gives! Have I thrown off my writers block,
like a mind control device defeating the dapper tyrannosaurus rex of inertia?
No, of course not. I just found ONE game that could supply the sufficient number of impressive and disturbing pictures all by itself. So, through off your ridiculously over-sized gloves, spit out your mouth guard, and feel free to lose a few teeth as we get ready to...
Hit the Ice! - a top-10iest summary-by-pictures
1: Rogue's Gallery of Goons and Serial Killers
...and I'm pretty sure that guy on the far right is a small-mouthed bass masquerading as a human.
2: Jeez, if they're this angry on the character SELECT screen...
3. In the land of the colorblind...
Note: this is an original Gameboy game, therefore is presented in 4 shades of black and gray. But you have to admire their
balls pucks for naming the two teams like that!
4. The face-off is officiated by Frosty the Snow Man
5. But then it's just some good ol' fashioned 2-on-2 hockey!
Is the plural of Mr. T, "Mr. T-s", or "Misters T"?
6. Well, 3-on-3 if you count the goalie.
When Crystal Lake closes for the winter, Jason plays in a pick-up hockey league.
7. Plus, he's got quite the slap shot!
Here we see a fellow in the midst of the hockey equivalent of a bicycle kick. It's basically unstoppable, and unsurprisingly, the computer knows how to do it!
8. But as always, the best defense is a good offense!
Oh, did I mention you can punch or club people with your stick?
9. No high-sticking calls here!
Bash your enemy to steal the
ball puck, then dribble skate away free as a bird bird.
Well, you'd think that all of that high-sticking and slugging was as violent as it was going to get...but you'd be WRONG!
Occasionally (and in addition to the rampant punching and assault with giant wood-and-fiberglass sporting equipment) a FIGHT will break out! Then, get ready for...
10. Ice Hittington's Punch-Out!!
I guess this explains everyone's faces from the Character Select screen.
What an odd little game.
But the most important part? It's an article about ONE GAME!
— carlmarksguy, 2015-03-20