But there's just so many weird/creepy/disturbing things that happen in the first level or two that I had to expose its dark and fetid soul further.
So this, then, is...
10. The Concierge:
Badly-digitized and "blinky"-looking cut-scene face, plus his creepy boy-throttling "lose a life" animation!
9. Digitized Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern:
Because nothing says "kid's movie" like
doofy comedic foils convicted felons with cold-blooded murder in their eyes.
8. Death by Cleaning Implements
Ok, so the mop just takes off a hitpoint (though watch out for the wet floor -- it's a slipping hazard on par with the best ice levels!), but this game posits that bumping into a vacuum cleaner sucks you in to your doom!
7. Bug-Eyed Gift Store Lady
Ok, the toys are cute -- but what the hell are we supposed to make of that cashier!? (My guess is that she's Mozart in a domino mask).
6. Our young hero in bed with a French Maid
...well, STANDING in bed. In a hotel room, alone. While she throws pillows at him. It's just weird, is all.
5. Whatever the hell is happening here
Another instant-kill enemy, another awkward grab.
4. Line cooks of doom.
Wander through the kitchen at your own risk -- even if you get by the dreaded dishwasher and falling pots-and-pans, there's several workstations of line cooks with an infinite supply of fish(?) cross-sections to fire at you!
3. Hotel Boss: THE STRIPPING CHEF
The kitchen ends with a showdown with the beefy chef. He leaps about throwing meat-cleavers at you, and you have to knee-slide into him.
Each knee-slide results in him removing more and more of his shirt,
...until finally his pants fly off and he flips upside-down.
(Then, for an encore, he explodes into a shower of cookies)
2. Your first cut-scene encounter with Harry and Marv.
It begins (as we've come to expect) with an awkward menacing hug. While this is going on, a mysterious beatnik lady hovers nearby (carrying what appears to be a psychadelic box with a Mega Man energy meter coming out of the top).
And how does our hero orchestrate his escape?
By snapping the bra-strap(?) of the mysterious lady!
She blames this on Daniel Stern, whom she calls a "nerd" and punches directly in the face.
This allows our hero to beat a hasty retreat!
Though judging by how his picture slides downwards out of frame, I guess we're to assume he's somehow sinking into the earth's crust.
...hidden after about 2 screen's-worth of credits, we find THIS:
1. Executive Producer: Howard Phillips!?
Of Nintendo Power magazine and "Howard and NESter" comic fame!?
My thoughts exactly. For shame, sir! For shame!
Please turn in your bow-tie at the door -- and don't think of coming back: