GameWTFs.com

Super Nintendo, NES & GameBoy tomfoolery;
3 times a day: pic/caption fluff. — Sometimes - articles  

(back to article list)

Up from (Super) Obscurity

As you may recall can review, last week I dedicated December 2013 to identifying the kindly-est white-bearded non-wizard fellows to be found on the Super Nintendo.
And where do we look for our next beard? This week, we find our platinum-blond spinach-chinned grandpa figure in Shaq-Fu:
Ah, Shaq-Fu: quite arguably the best Super Nintendo game featuring hulking basketball players fighting supernatural evil before a charity basketball game.
So, let's get down to business. And what is that business, you might ask? Why, it's Shaq-Fu's Story Mode, which features...
Nameless Dojo Master Guy!
While Nameless Dojo Master Guy shows up briefly during the game's ending (at least if the SNES ending is anything like Genesis ending), he's mainly featured in the Story Mode's opening cut-scene. So we'll look through all eight of its glorious panels:
That Shaq, and his charity games in downtown Tokyo!
Also I guess Pepsi is a big sponsor of Tokyo dojos: there's quite clearly TWO separate billboards for that cola in those two pictures; there's no way it's the SAME billboard in both shots, it just doesn't line up right.
Here we meet Nameless Dojo Master Guy!
And through a miscommunication that would feel right at home in any '90s sitcom, Shaq accidentally identifies himself as a battling warrior from the stars.
And the old guy's like, "Save Nezu!", and Shaq's all like, "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Wizened?"
I guess we should just be glad they didn't spin Old Guy's "are you the magic one?" line into a pun about the Orlando Magic (Shaq's team when this game was made).
Even though Shaq can barely understand what the old man is saying,
when he demands that Mr. O'Neal leap into an inter-dimensional portal wreathed in green flame (or is it just the dojo's storage room with a green curtain?), Shaq is only too happy to obey.
After all, if there's a charity basketball game, a giant PEPSI banner to stand next to, or any "Nezu"-s that need saving, Shaq is SO there!
So that's Nameless Dojo Master Guy -- and why is he so kindly?
Well, he's found a way to send Shaquille O'Neal into another dimension. A dimension not just of peril and adventure, but also of fist-fights with He-Man villain rejects.
One might say that Dojo Master Guy's greatest goodness stems from his ability to locate Nezu-rescuing basketball players...but I'd argue that his Shaq-banishing portal is his greatest contribution to intergalactic good.
I mean, hopefully Shaq and Nezu would be safe somewhere on the other side, but what of OUR world? If Shaq had been cast into higher dimensional space, our world might have been protected from something even more terrifying than brightly-colored creatures named "Mephis" or "Beast":
— carlmarksguy, 2013-12-13
(back to article list)

more me!

LameComics.com
GameWTFs on Tumblr

latest comments

7/1/16: Family Kombat! by Laytruce
6/30/16: Family Kombat! by CarlMarksGuy
6/30/16: Family Kombat! by Laytruce
4/24/16: Multi-Sports Unlicensed-Straviganza, part 4: Anyone for Tennis? by CarlMarksGuy

systems

NES
Super Nintendo
GameBoy

categories

Articles
Up from (Super) Obscurity (87)
NES Obscurity Quicky! (49)
Smorgasbored! (30)
Cover Art Theatre (24)
Boy in Gray (24)
killer Vaniller filler (14)
Four Reflections for Filler (7)

Short + Sweet
New Ancient Wisdom (383)
Shenanigans &/or Shinola (33)
Picture-in-Picture (22)
Miscquoted (21)
Pointless Point Pointers (11)
Made Up Facts! (6)

tags

Bats/Cats/Rats/Gnats (33)
Beat-em-ups (44)
Bees Will End You (11)
Button Zone Defense (7)
CarlMarksGiger (5)
Censors on Maximum! (6)
Character DeCreation (7)
CHOPPAH (get to da) (8)
Cover Art...yeah. (9)
CRAZYGRAMPS-Approved (10)
Cross Hairs (14)
CTRL-ALT-Sports (39)
Cut the Cut Scenes! (50)
Delicious Power-Ups! (19)
Digitized Photos=Bad (34)
Dojo Mojo (15)
e-Pistolary Whipped (2)
Faces in the Crowd (8)
Fighty-Fight-Fight (39)
Foreground Peekaboo (3)
Form of: Plat! (86)
Fun with Cybernetics (28)
Glitched Pictures (12)
Go for the Gold! (19)
GOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (4)
Grappling Hook-y (5)
Gritty Urbs & Spices (37)
Haberdasher Galaxy (19)
Haiku You! (11)
Hellish Moppet (24)
Hi, Explosives! (16)
High Fashion (43)
I Give Up! (59)
I have bad taste (18)
Ice is Nice (14)
Informative Info! (46)
It's a Holiday! (12)
Jumpy-Stabby (43)
Keep on Truckin' (12)
Kids today! :P (15)
Laser-Powered Fist (10)
LevHELL Select (14)
Melting Flooring (6)
Mini(scule) Games (12)
Mission: Implausible (26)
Moto-cross/-cycle (14)
Movie Cash-In! (59)
Muscles n' Mullets (20)
no pants (19)
Not the BOSS of me! (21)
Oh, Aliens did it. (25)
Paid Celeb Spokesman (31)
Pigging Out (8)
Pirates &/or Ninjas (47)
Player 2 I <3 You (17)
Port-a-Porty (29)
Prehistoria Euphoria (18)
Puzzling, yes? (27)
Racing a La Mode 7 (11)
Random Spotlight! (15)
Rasslin'!!! (7)
Recursive Recursion (7)
Rushing Beat-ings (8)
Scan Th Funny Manual (3)
Scoot or Die (7)
Shabby Olive Drabby (20)
Shoot-em-U/D/L/R (62)
Shpiiidah! (10)
Snap th Game's a Job (13)
Spiky Apocalypse! (22)
SPOOKY (56)
Stupor Heroes! (16)
Sum-Sum-Summertime! (9)
Swords, Elves, Etc (32)
THAT'S how you win? (3)
The Grating Outdoors (24)
The InterNOT (2)
The Name Game! (18)
The Time Warp Excuse (18)
Toon In! (31)
Top 10 or so! (23)
U Stink But I <3 U (9)
Un-licensed to kill (22)
Uneven Challenge (18)
Unwieldly Projectile (33)
Warp Door Mazes (5)
Weird Animals (67)
What a scoop! (10)
What's the Password? (20)
Wheels + Feet = Go (7)
Whirled Tour! (13)
Woebegotten Sequels (21)
X marks the XTREME! (9)

etc.

elsewhere on the web...
VGJUNK
Flying Omelette
Rage Quitter 87
Codiekitty
Random Hoo Haas
JustGamesRetro
SNES HUB
ScrollBoss