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Up from (Super) Obscurity

Hi everyone, and welcome to my 300th post here on GameWTFs! (or 100th, if you don't count posts that are just one picture). Yay!
But more importantly, it's also December. There's no denying it now, folks: we're in "the holiday season."
But you know what? I liked doing a holiday-themed month of "October = Pseudo-Frankenstein's Monster."
In fact, I liked it so much that I'm going going to embrace the spirit (and trappings) of relatively non-dogmatic, entirely materialistic U.S. of A. Christmas to do another theme-month.
And this year we're looking straight to the fat man in red himself:
"EXEC." from Pit Fighter!
Wait, no, scratch that: we're looking at Santa Claus...and more specifically, his beard! Yes, let it be known: for all of December 2014 at GameWTFs, I'll be talking about...
The Kindest (non-wizard-based) White Beards on the SNES!
...and I think anyone who's familiar with NES and SNES games will understand the "no wizards (clerics, etc) allowed" rule: otherwise I could list basically any mideval game, because they're chock-full of weird-beards:
Every legendary lagoon is overflowing with wise old mentors,
And any RPG where you get to create-a-character is full to the brim with magicians and wizards.
So who does that leave us with?
Well, here's one, found deep in the "Medieval" era of Ghoul Patrol:
...after you've circumnavigated all the Ghost Knights and Courtiers,
(And, incongruously enough, past the giant snails and buckets of multi-colored paint)
...one might meet this week's Kind SNES White-Beard-er --
King Sleepy!
And what makes this King so kindly?
Well, he IS surrounded by sacks of money, which you're free to take --
Well, free-ish to take.
But considering you're the only thing that stands between him and the icy grip of death, I'm sure he won't begrudge you the proverbial "king's ransom".
Actually, never mind -- you're quite clearly taking bags of "dollars". They're not florins, sovereigns, pounds-sterling or any other ancient, medieval or pseudo-medieval currency -- there's a big $-sign right on the bag, for minting crying out loud! So I guess it's just useless green paper to King Sleepy.
But he ALSO shows his kindliness by giving you 8,000 points:
To put that in perspective: according to Zombies Ate my Neighbors's chart of the value of human life, that means he's worth 8 cheerleaders, 16 dogs, or 800 teachers-giving-you-an-"F".
Well, that got kind of weird.
Nevertheless, tune in next week for more of the Kindest White-Beards on the SNES!
— carlmarksguy, 2013-12-06
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