Up from (Super) Obscurity
permalinkThis week I'm going to talk about a game I saw a while ago, but only bought recently. But now it is time...time to discuss...
We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
I could tell it was a platformer movie cash-in of a weird cartoon movie I'd never seen, but I was perplexed by these plucky packyderms confused by the weird character design and/or names.
I've never seen the movie, so I can't explain why it features the friendliest T-Rex since Barney. But that won't stop me from highlighting...
The Top 10 Least Dinosaur-Like Things your character does in We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
1. Parachuting in to New York City
What is he, Snake Plissken?!
2. Getting shot by tiny street thugs.
When I think of what the Big Game Hunter in Jurrasic Park II went through to bag a T-Rex...who knew all he had to do was walk around on the roof of a cafe in Brooklyn?
3. Jump on trampolines.
Dinosaurs or no, I'm pretty sure installing trampolines on an apartment building roof would invite law suits.
4. Get run over by the subway.
Oh, that's going to slow down the evening commute :O
5. Attack by throwing small pebbles.
Instead of, say...mauling people with his teeth? Okay...you can ALSO attack by jumping on people, but that's fairly dinosaur-like (or Italian-Plumber-like), so I'm not going to include it in this list.
6. Help a Dr. Light-knockoff.
This probably would make more sense if I'd seen the movie. Also: "Professor Screweyes". Hee hee hee.
7. Climb drain pipes.
Perhaps he's ALSO a ninja...I hope in a later level he hides under water and breathes through a reed!
8. Eat light bulbs so he can do tail-thumps.
In one of the points screens we learn those light bulbs are called "Brain Grain". Sorry light bulbs -- you still don't beat "Professor Screweyes" for the Silliest Name Championship Belt.
9. Walk a tight-rope.
...huh.
10. Smile beatifically!
Awwww, him so adowable!
Also, I can't top that for non-dinosaur-like behavior, so...
END.Also, I can't top that for non-dinosaur-like behavior, so...
— carlmarksguy, 2013-11-15
4 Comments:
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1
I remember the days before the SNES's launch when Nintendo Power gloated over the many uses of Mode 7. It would've been great if this had been a launch title because I would've loved to have seen them say, "And it can even be used to parachute dinosaurs into New York City!"
2
Yeah, I need to have a "most pointless & gratuitous use of Mode 7" article; in the last 2-3 weeks alone I've bought this and "Cool World", both of which begin with your character dropping into the world from a great height (games where you mode-7 in SEVERAL times to different locations, 'Skuljagger' or 'Actraiser' at least use it more than once).
3
Okay, it's been ages since I've seen the movie, but wasn't one of the characters in A Dinosaur's Story a pterodactyl? Why would it need a parachute?
4
So the game DOES put effort into involving the 3 other dinos who parachute in (plus some alien guy too): you get pickups that let you summon them, and different ones break walls/give power-ups/kill enemies/and the pterodactyl flies you to powerups. I thought the 4 parachutes were for non-pterodactyl dinos, but I looked at more pictures: the purple dino is clearly the pterodactyl, so I guess s/he is just taking the easy way down. Thanks for commenting!