Up from (Super) Obscurity
permalinkAfter a long time (given that my first article was about a Brawl Brothers character), I'm returning to the world of the Rushing Beat games! And this time I'm starting at the beginning: what our friends in the land of the rising sun call Rushing Beat, the rest of the world calls Rival Turf! (Or maybe just the U.S.A. version calls it that...I'm too lazy to look it up).
My Turf is Without Rival!
Let's see, what's the least amount of background I can give you on Rival Turf before getting to the good stuff...
- It's a SNES beat-em-up game which came out after the SNES version of Final Fight, so it boasts about its 2-player SIMULTANEOUS action.
- It has horrible regionalization changes (as well-documented by Rage-Quitter-87!)
- It has two totally tubular features which all beat-em-ups should have:
- Your Special Attack doesn't cost health, it takes 4 enemy-kills off your score. Since your score never gives you an extra life, it doesn't really matter...but it does limit your special attack use! Also the special attacks are really not that good (in case that helps balance it).
- You can hold the L or R wing-buttons to run, instead of having to double-tap the controller. Thus you'll spend most of the game in run mode (and with a sore finger).
- And it has the BEST CHEAT/SPECIAL FEATURE IN THE HISTORY OF VIDEOGAMES!
I know what you're thinking...why do the enemies names matter? Wouldn't an Abobo by any other name smell so sweat(y)?
But this is a SNES beat-em-up we're talking about -- and that means that every time you punch someone, their life-bar AND their name appears at the top of the screen! The street punks won't just have to live with your new-and-improved name in some dark corner of the SNES CPU, but at the very top of your television screen!
So, how do I engage this exciting cheat? Easy as pie! Just:
- Start the game, preferably with "ANGRY MODE" turned off (which is the default, so you don't need to go to the options menu, so forget I said anything).
- Then you must kill 5+ enemies (so you can beat out EEEEEEEEEE in the bottom rung of the High Scores list). While you do this, you must NOT use your special move (so your score isn't reduced).
- Next, and perhaps most difficultly!, you must get beaten to death by enemies. Skinny is particularly good at this -- if left unchecked, he'll repeatedly kick you, taking away large chunks of your life bar.
- Penultimately, you must NOT use a continue while the "do you want to continue?" counter counts down to zero.
- Then finally, by beating at least 5 enemies, you get to the HIGH SCORES screen. On the high scores entry screen, enter THIS as your name:
Then, POW: you get to rename EVERY ENEMY (and both players) IN THE WHOLE FRIGGIN' GAME!
Awesomeness is yours!
But in case you can't handle all that awesomeness...
Let's look at my suggestions for names of the first 10 charaters you encounter:
| Who? | They Call Him... | I Call Him... |
|---|---|---|
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FLAK
Jack Flak, the average cop! The perfect balance of speed and PLAYER 1.
|
PLAQUE
Sounds the same, but worse for your teeth!
|
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NELSON
Oozie Nelson, the stronger and slower cop! The perfect choice if you accidentally do not select Jack Flak!
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APPLEGUY
It's odd how "Oozie" is such a freaked out name, yet "Nelson" is bland enough I come up with all kinds of random names for him. "APPLEGUY" is one of those random names.Should I have just called him OOZIE? That's a horrible name, but its kind of one that THEY call him, so...yeah. Confusing! |
 |
BULLET
Low-level goons don't get no sleeves! It's a well-documented fact!
|
BALLET
Just because he spends his days wearing rags and getting into fist-fights with plainclothes street-fightin' policemen doesn't mean he doesn't have a dancer's soul!
|
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CASE
I guess that motorcycle helmet he's wearing COULD be thought of as a "Case" around his head...
|
BASE.1ST
Perhaps he's so attractive that he HAS to wear that helmet to keep the ladies away!
|
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SKINNY
He's certainly tall and lanky! And Bald! Also, nice medallion, and zubbas pants made out of neon pink zebra hide!
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PENISMAN
Ok, I can't defend this nickname, but I also can't think of anything else to call this poor fellow. I guess it's a case where, if the |
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WARRIOR
I guess if you're going to dress like a cross between a kung-fu guy and a band majorette, you better have a tough name!
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WARTHOG
...and what's tougher than a Wart Hog? I guess a bear with chainsaws instead of claws would be tougher, but those are pretty rare these days (they would destroy their own ecosystem, you see), so "WartHog" it is.
|
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BUTCH
Inspired by Breaking Bad, Butch here looks every bit like a shop teacher who decided to throw his old life away and join a street gang. Now, instead of explaining the workings of a table saw or a scratch awl to scrawny freshman and breathing sawdust fumes, he squeezes his immense belly into a bandolier with a fetching sholderpad and gets punched repeatedly in his giant breadbasket. If you ask me, it's a lateral move.
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BUTTS
C'mon, this guy's upper torso is the size of Dom DeLouise, yet his hips and legs are normal size? He's got to have some serious corset-type jockstrap going on to contain his...BUTTS. Hence the name!
|
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GORO
I'll bet GORO decided to get into karate after playing too much Mortal Kombat as a kid. Maybe he's been trying to grow two extra arms and a goofy ponytail to look like his "gang name"-namesake. Or maybe he just likes Good Oreos but can't spell (damn the influence of the "K" in "Mortal Kombat" on a generation's spelling!). It'll remain a mystery, because every time someone approaches Goro, he leaps backwards with his foot jutting out, in hopes of smacking them right in their smug, spelling-capable face!
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FARTS
Karate Master with a gray outfit and yellow kneepads is named "FARTS." I laugh at things that a five-year-old would laugh at. There's nothing more to see here, please move along.
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ARNOLD
One thing's for sure...even though you may knock this guy down, HE'LL BE BACK. Wearing his scary sunglasses and an adorable orange tanktop with an odd "X" or pair of scissors drawn on it in denim-blue!
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AKROID
Change a few letters and you've gone from a BRUISE-Brother to a BLUES BROTHER. Oh dear god. Why are you reading this site again?
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GENIE
The first level boss is one of the guys who chased Disney's Aladdin around while he was shoplifting fruit. Dude, at this point, your guess is as good as mine.
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WENIE
Hur hur hur.
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See also: Marking Your (Rival) Turf II: The Turfening for my name suggestions for the OTHER 10 characters, AND MUCH MUCH MORE!*
*: not that much more.
— carlmarksguy, 2012-02-24
3 Comments:
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1
You are pretty much the only other person in the history of my internet surfing who has played this game. As well as having the BEST CHEAT/SPECIAL FEATURE IN THE HISTORY OF VIDEOGAMES!, have you seen the lost level? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Sdj_mb1lCc
2
I don't call this section "Up from Obscurity" for nothin'! But seriously, I think I like Rival Turf better than its sequel, Brawl Bros; BrawlB's bosses (clones of the characters) are totally broken, the same way your characters are broken: invulnerability during Throws! & I'll have to check out that vid!