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Up from (Super) Obscurity

I recently bought a lousy SNES shooting game, Lethal Enforcers. Yes, it's obviously my own fault, and I can't blame anyone else for it.
However it DOES let you choose to use the controller to move a crosshair around the screen, instead of getting cramps in your neck, shoulder, wrist, and sense of self worth by trying to play it with the Super Scope, so that's a positive.
It also features awesomely goofy digitized photos of crooks and innocent bystanders who pop up and repeatedly shout things like "You can't beat me!" or "Eat Lead!"
So this week I'd planned on writing about this Dirty-Harry-em-Up Super Nintendo game. However, this week is ALSO Valentine's Day (which is the reason this Friday article happens to be coming out ONE DAY EARLY!).
That also made me think...why not combine Lethal Enforcers and Valentine's Day, to help find something vaguely interesting to write about a crummy game like Lethal Enforcers people who need some exciting 16-bit Valentines Day cards!
So come with me and enjoy some Lethal Enforcers valentines which are sure to win* the heart** of your intended!
*: if by "win" you mean "irritate"
**: or spleen
Yes, it's Be My Valentine...Lethal Enforcers-style!












Well, that about wraps it up...
Unfortunately our usual "funny ending quote" go-to guy, Pitfall Harry, is off on a date with Deadfall Edwina. Uh...is there anyone back there who has something to say?
Ah, it's the cast of Cutthroat Island and Cliffhanger...
and they're STILL doin' the Lanky Nibbs!
Happy Valentine's day, everyone!
— carlmarksguy, 2013-02-14
1
For the first time ever I'm disappointed to be single on Valentine's day because I don't have anyone to send the "I'm nuts about you" card to.
2
I guess shooting ski-mask-wearing bank robbers in the groin is just one of those heart-warming things that's best shared with a loved one or PLAYER 2.
3
Haven't played this one, but I recently picked up Lethal Enforcers II: Gun Fighters on the Genesis. With the Justifier light-gun, it's actually a lot of fun.
4
Yeah, oddly enough I saw a Genesis "Lethal Enforcers" gun in the store the other week; they're pretty sweet.
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